Aloha (No, I haven't learned any other words yet)

I’ve been in HI for two weeks, going on three now and it already feels like months.  I’ve met sooo many fun people and experienced so many different foods/adventures that I can hardly keep it straight.  I'm based (for what can only pass as work) in Honolulu, more precisely Waikiki beach on Oahu and took a trip to Maui (Ka'anapalin and Lahiana) last weekend where I went scuba diving at Molokini and biked down Haleakala.

Flip-Flops Slippers (or even better, slippahs)

…are more than a fashion statement saying “I’m on vacation”, they were rooted in Japan where geisha’s wore wooden shoes with no left or right distinction.  It is more a statement about I accept your toes and honor your way of life.  I’ve found my toes are much more honored and accepted with a $50 pedicure.  Is that tax deductible?

Aloha shirts are dress code for professional men…

not women, just men. 

Hang on, I’m still getting use to this one. 

I’m going to start a trend of slippah’s as dress code for women.  Seriously, have you tried walking on hotel natural slate floors in high heels and a laptop bag?  I’m either gonna take out grandma in her swimskirt or little Tommy with his inflatable water wings.  Either way, someone’s going to the hospital.

Diving Molokini – Wow.  This natural preserve had 100-200 feet visibility.  Molokini is a crescent moon shaped crater housing some really fun fish and coral.  Many moving sea urchins waved their tentacles about.  Oooh, and a reef shark.  Turns out they look the same as in Australia.  Lot’s of parrot fish.  Parrot fish actually eat coral and poop sand.  Yes, that’s right, the white sand beach on a black volcano island is not part of the original terrain out here folks.  Oh, and one parrot fish had this white mouth with almost Mater (as in Tow-mater) teeth.  And I was like, man you're a stupid looking fish.

I even said that to him underwater. 

It was awkward.  

Directions- So, I learned really fast that the directions North, South, East and West meant very little to a community who’s streets went in a circle.  Diamond Head is a crater on the SE side of the island.  Ewa (pronounced Eva) is a small town closer to Pearl Harbor.  Mauka means towards the mountains and Makai is towards the ocean…Directions involve “keep the water on your right”.  So now we have a whole new language for those of you bored with giving directions that include “head towards the mountains”. 

SUP – Stand Up Paddleboarding

This stupid sport earned me the nickname “Crash”.  

I don’t want to talk about it.

Spam – really?  I understand the need for meat that doesn't spoil when you’re a little cut off from direct supply chains, but this acquired taste has projected itself onto Macadamia nuts.

STOP IT!  JUST STOP IT.

Cattle ranch – Maui has the largest private cattle ranch in the country.   The ranch owner, Baldwin, didn’t want to sell any of his Haleakala land to the military (for an observatory or weather monitor something or other) so the military in it’s infinite bargaining wisdom, agreed to buy all of his cattle for life in exchange for the top of the crater where no grass grows for the cattle anyway.  So now all his cattle go to the US government to feed our troops while the beef in the grocery stores comes from the mainland.  These are the geniuses I share this island with. 

Tsunami

When I asked my dive instructor about the tsunami from the Japan earthquake he said the boats all went out to sea to wait it out.  One of the docks in Lahaina was trashed with missing ladders and storage boxes.  

And that's all I have to say about that.

It’s not really a classic story, is it?  I really wanted to share it though.

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is the State Fish

 – I'm not lying.

Polynesians obviously never suffered from dyslexia. 

They should be studied.

Two 7 hour flights in 3 days.  I don’t recommend it but if you have to do it, don’t nod off with a cup of coffee in your hands.  My friend was sitting in the window seat with a cup of hot coffee cradled in his hands.  Now, nodding off on a plane usually involves some amount of head bobbing but this one is so accustom to flying that he’s going straight into R.E.M. sleep.  Now what happens right as you fall asleep?  You jerk, right?  So, the vulnerable shot glass of coffee rockets up as his arm jerks and the projectile coffee hits the target of the window.  Now the person in the middle seat is just thankful it wasn’t the other hand that jerked and is busting a gut while he watches coffee streak down the window.  Lesson learned…If you see this guy on a plane, don’t sit next to him.

Aloha shirts, Aloha Fridays and Liquid Aloha….enough said.

Sunrise in Honolulu